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Screens (television, tablets, computers, smartphones) are present everywhere in our lives, and our children are exposed to them at a very early age. Their effects on children's development are not insignificant. It is very important, as parents and educators, to understand these effects in order to use screens in a reasoned, controlled and beneficial way. Here are some guidelines that can help you better manage your child's screen time. We highly recommend reading the article "Screens and Children" in Birth and Growth for more information.
What are the main benchmarks ?
Psychiatrist Serge Tisseron's program 3-6-9-12 is an essential tool, its reference points are very clear, easy to adapt to our daily life and it follows the evolution of children according to their age. Here is his advice for 3 to 6 year olds, and our comments and tips:
Set clear rules on screen times.
There is no magic number of hours per week that works for everyone, but limit screen time as much as possible, and make sure it is not daily.
Respect the ages indicated for the programs.
Kindergarten children do not have the ability to step back sufficiently to understand and manage the images or scenes they see and the emotions that are triggered in them. Between the ages of 3 and 6, children should not watch violent news, action series or movies, or play violent video games.
The tablet, television and computer are in the living room, not the bedroom.
Prohibit digital tools during meals and before sleep.
The meal is both a moment of food education and a very important moment of socialization for the children. The screen prevents the child from being aware of what they are eating, and also prevents them from telling you about their day.
Never use them to calm your child.
When your child is overwhelmed with emotions, use the tips in the article "My Child and His Emotions" to help calm him down. Calming him down" with a screen is distracting, and does nothing to help your child develop the ability to manage his emotions. We also advise you to avoid offering your child a screen to help him "wait", in the car, in the doctor's waiting room, at the restaurant Talk to your child about what you see, what you have done, what you are going to do and help him find more rewarding activities that he can do on his own (drawing a picture, singing songs).
Playing with others is better than alone.
The human being is a relational being, and the child is structured to learn from its interactions. Two children sharing a tablet discuss what they are doing, learn about sharing and take turns. A movie watched as a family on Sunday afternoon is a great opportunity to discuss what we see, talk about our childhood (share with them the movies you loved as a child), have a good time together.
And two final pieces of advice:
Have confidence in your child's ability to do without the screens.
If he's used to having the television on in the mornings during breakfast, the first few days when he doesn't have it will probably be a little difficult, but hang in there and you'll see how quickly he'll adapt. Sometimes it may seem "easier" to use the screens to channel our child, but what's really easier is to have a child who doesn't need a screen to be calm. Adjusting screen time is an investment in your child's development and in your comfort too.
Have confidence in your ability to do without the screens.
We've talked mostly about children's exposure to screens in this article, but time spent with your phone on or with the TV on also has a significant influence on your child's development. Keep your smartphone away from you during meals, evening rituals, and times when you play with your child. Be present with your child. The best way to educate our children to use screens sensibly is to have one ourselves!
Paula Buswell